Relapsing

Mom...

This empty feeling keeps relapsing. 

Questioning how I live my life. 

Thinking what to do tomorrow.

Wondering why I should do these things.

When you were here,

I never felt tired.

I am always on fire.

Because all is about you, for you.

But now without you,

I easily feel exhausted,

Like the days are no meaning,

no purpose.

Mom...

What should I do now?

Should I cry for help?

Seeking for happiness?

Why does it sounds hard for now?

I know I am escaping,

which is the only thing I can do for now,

even though the happiness is just a momentary.

The empty feeling stays longer than the bliss.

They said I should do my hobbies.

She said I need to move forward.

But, those saying are not as easy as flipping your hand.

Should you be in my position to understand my situation?

Anyway, 

as I am trying to move,

again, 

the missing feeling keeps relapsing

I guess,

I should meet you and hug you again.

That's my wild mind

But for real, I ask Him to hug you and protect you in His good place.

See you Mom at the time when He decides us to meet again :')

Hope He sends me the way how to live my life before meeting you,

somehow...

in any ways :)