The Hardest Beginning

Source: kucingbangsawan.blogspot.com

Two months of holidays has passed offhand. What kind of productive things I have done? Nothing? Between feeling guilty or delighted. Feeling guilty because of nothing I have done or feeling delighted that I have so much fun. 

A lot of fun things I never had during the lectures has done during the holidays. Between feeling guilty or delighted. Feeling guilty because the fun things didn't give usefulness for my future or feeling delighed that I have the opportunity to enjoy the life. 

Watching Channel M, KBS World, Cartoon Network, Nickelodeon, HBO, FOX, Celestial Movie, and Waku-Waku Japan made me bear to sit in front of the television. Some korean dramas has finished watched, for example Nice Guy, Rooftop Prince, and Medical Top Team. The Return of Superman is the reality show I usually watch by streaming on Youtube. 

Is it good or not? I didn't have any idea to answer. Between feeling guilty or delighted. Feeling guilty because day by day I have missed a lot of precious times or feeling delighted because there is no other times except holidays I can spoil myself with entertainments. 

Am I too excessive spoiling myself during holidays? Between feeling guilty or delighted. Feeling guilty because I didn't need to spend the whole holidays by something entertaining, I also could spend the times by something useful for myself or feeling delighted because those fun things made me fresh and reduce all of pressures during the college.

There is one month to go before I back to the college. What things I should do? I have to choose the right things. What do you think? No more fun things? Back to the reality? The reality is my holidays will be over in a month. If I can't use the times wisely, I will become the loser. But, why didn't I have the spirits? Where is my spirits? Where is my motivations? Where is my passions? Why does my mind refuse to do the useful things? Why does my mind still engage me to enjoy the holiday? 

Oh God..
Why is it really hard to begin?
Why is it really hard to make a start?
This is really the hardest thing to have a start.

Oh my soul..

Please awake!

The world is cruel.

You have to be lenient under the pressures.

It's okay being hurt.

Please keep in mind that it will not last long. 

The greatest pleasure will be waiting for you. 

Please awake my spirits!

Pelase awake my motivations!

Please awake my passions!

"Nothing is IMPOSSIBLE, the word itself says I'M POSSIBLE" -Audrey Hepburn.