Exhausted :(

 

I really know the reason why Allah sends the human into the earth, Allah hopes us to be the leader of the earth, asks us to take care the earth, and do a lot of good deeds each others. The good deeds that we have done in the earth will be the ticket to heaven where we can take a rest in our whole life which never end. 

I realize this and I try my best to do a lot of good deeds and I really hope that the people can get the benefits from me. I'm not looking forward for anything. I just want to get the ticket to heaven, because of why? Because I feel that, my life was so difficult, strict, and really exhausting so this is really clear that I want to take a rest. 

In this case, I never blame the college as the thing that makes me difficult. I love studying and searching for the knowledge (It doesn't mean that I'm clever, I just an ordinary guy who are not expert in the knowledge). The whole benefits from studying, as big as possible, I give only for the people, especially for my mother. I don't want anything in my life except doing good deeds and return the favor of my parents.

Doing good deeds is not easy. Certainly, we'll meet any constrains especially from the people. There are a lot of type of people in the world. We must have different outlook of the life and it also means that it's not easy to work together with the people. That's the problem point of my life which sometimes push me to give up. Then, I feel the life is so difficult and really exhausting because of the various type of the people. The people who don't care, the people who don't take their responsibility, the people who lazy, the people who give negative thinking, the people who underestimate the others, and the people who arrogant are something make me hard, comfortless, and exhausted.

But, after looking back to the past until now, I feel that I'm still not worthy to take a rest soon. I still have to collect more and more good deeds. Because until know my mistakes and my good deeds still in balance. Beside of the good deeds, I also have a lot of mistakes, there may be a lot of people hurt by me and may be there are still people who haven't forgiven me yet. I just want they to forgive me, so a lot of mistakes that I have can be erased and I can take a rest without any burden.

But, I still have a responsibility for the life, I still have a mission and dreams. I shouldn't take a rest easily before reaching that mission and dreams. For the people as the constrain for me to reach the aim must be a learning for me of the life. It taught me to work harder to reach the aim. Hopefully, after reaching the aim, mission, and dreams, I can spread the benefits and can take a rest in the heaven comfortably.