A few years ago when I was a new student at SMAN 28, I was closed person and I didn’t care with social life, I just thought that I could be accepted in this favourite school because my own effort.
One day I would do ESQ training for 3 days at 165 building, I never knew what ESQ was, I just knew that ESQ standed for Emotional and Spiritual Question. On the first day I was accompanied by my father. All of students gathered in the lobby until we all were complete, we went down and did registration. After that we were given nametag. I sat together with my old friend, Leista. I wasn’t interested in finding new friends at that time. But at least I knew some new friends, they were Bondan and Dian.
Briefly, in 3 days I followed this ESQ training, many things that’s really inspiring me to change, turned into real human. Real human is human who remembers that he was ever asked his commitment by Allah with saying two syahadat sentences. Real human is human that really loves Allah and so love of Allah then he does good deeds to others only because of Allah. Real human is human who also loves Allah’s prophet, Muhammad SAW.
The first thing that’s inspiring me to be real human is when I was showed a verse of Al-Qur’an which states that truthfully human had been asked his commitment before by Allah and testified that there is no God but Allah and Muhammad is the messenger of Allah. I am a person who justifies Al-Qur’an and I just knew that there is a verse which states that things. I am also a person who fulfills the promise and if I have promised to Allah then I have to fulfill it.
The second thing that’s inspiring me to be real human is when I am asked what my goals for this life is, then I will answer it’s both parents and money. I really love my parents who struggle to raise me all the time, therefore one day I will return their favor. Certainly money is also the goal I live because with money I can beatify and lift both parents’ level. But, everytime I imagine and recall the memories of the past, when parents, friends, and others had ever been dissappointing me, I was thinking for what I live? But everytime I pray to Allah, Allah grant it. I was thinking why Allah grant my prayers, whereas all this time I often forget about Allah. Since that time I felt how Allah loved me, yeah I knew Allah the Most Merciful. I just realized that when everyone is disappointing me actually there is Allah that isn’t ever disappointing us. At that time I really love Allah and change the goals of my life that is to do good deeds only because of Allah.
The third thing that’s inspiring me to be real human is when I was listened a story about a figure who is really influential that is prophet Muhammad SAW. I didn’t suppose in the end of his life he was still able to call his people, “Ummatii Ummatii”. His people who will live without his existence. It meant that I am also the part of his people who is called by him at that time, I felt how prophet Muhammad really loved his people including me. Now I am a person whose worship isn’t too much like Arabian people who are worship experts. I don’t know what place that I will enter later in hereafter, I am not able to be burnt in Allah’s hell and I am not worthy entering Allah’s heaven. I really need syafa’at from prophet Muhammad in doomsday and I really miss him and I also love him.
I who before was haughty person, now I just realize that I am not worthy proudly standing on the surface of this earth. I who before was a person who was only thinking about myself and didn’t care about others, now I just realize how important carings for others. Then after the training was over, the trainer asked us to forgive each others, I immediately looked for Bondan and Dian. I felt so guilty to them, they were so care to me but my own self wasn’t care about them. Therefore I decided to be real human since that time.
